A Leap of Faith

Benjamin approached me a few times to work on Corpus Christi as either the director or stage manager.  I wasn’t sure I could commit to the play the way I really needed to.  I wasn’t sure I connected as deeply as others could.  He approached me one last time because he might need women to perform some of the roles, but told me not to get my hopes up.

Upon reading Corpus Christi a third time with the idea of performing in it, I found myself switching gears, becoming really excited and…getting my hopes up.  As I dug deeper into the play and myself, I found that I HAD to be involved.  In so many ways I am precisely the person Benjamin asked me to play–it was an eerie awakening.  An awakening filled with mixed emotions, internal struggles, insights and peace.

To this day, I haven’t wholeheartedly been able to follow any particular religion. I grew up with Catholic grandparents and went to church on holidays.  I prayed every night for years out of habit, not because I was completely invested in the prayer.  I gave Nichiren Buddhism a try for a while, believing in some of its concepts, but it wasn’t something I could totally adopt for myself.

After reading the play and spending time ensemble building with the cast, I’ve allowed myself to go to the limits of my vulnerability and realized that I have a deep gap in who I am– spiritually.  I lack faith in others and myself and I need to find it.

Benjamin once asked me what, I thought, was my larger purpose in life. I want people to be happy–to love and feel loved.  Something that continually frustrates me is when people become quick to judge or condemn others.  I don’t think love discriminates.  I don’t believe a person can truly follow Jesus’ teachings if they despise other people.  When I find myself doing it, I try to stop.

Why is it easy to hate and difficult to love?  Why are our relationships ‘work’ and bailing out is easier?  Can we have the faith to open our hearts and minds to what is difficult for us to love?

I’m uncertain where my own spiritual journey will lead with Corpus Christi, but exploring with this cast and crew has shown me that we take a leap of faith.

Kim Woodworth
Heads Up Company Member
Corpus Christi Ensemble Member

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Comments

  1. Amy Spencer says:

    If you jump, I’ll jump with you.

    Ready?

    One…
    …two…

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