Here Comes the Sun

Darkness swallows everything in its path – without exception.

I see depression everywhere; my friends and neighbors, the economy, even the entire state of the nation seems affected. Perhaps it’s the weather. (Seasonal affective disorder [SAD] is particularly common in areas with little sunlight. And, in case you haven’t looked outside, the grey Ohio sky continues to leave us vitamin D deficient.) Perhaps there is something in the air.  Or maybe we are in a “down” period in the cycle of existence. Whatever it is, it is slowly consuming us all; remaining untouched is difficult, if not downright impossible.

I returned from our 6-week road trip (more about it here) with a new sense of purpose. However, the doldrums of Akron were quick to descend. Daily routine, mundane weather and money problems (read: student loans) began weighing me down. Before I recognized the direction in which I was headed, worry, sleep and a general inability to accomplish anything of substance overran what should have been my free time. Depression had won the battle.

Darkness is quick to consume – only light shall overcome.

I was overcome by doubt; afraid I would never fulfill my potential. A doubting actor is the worst kind. He blocks his very essence and stifles his creative potential. I had the sensation of standing on a set of railroad tracks, unable to move as a train barreled straight in my direction. I was about to be crushed.

Light comes in many forms – one must always be open.

As my attitude continued to spiral out of control, I was gifted by a vision. In my vision, I was merely a single cog in a world where no piece was ever out of place. Any attempt at movement was negated; everything was frozen forever. Every human being stood shoulder to shoulder, like pegs in a board, stretching into eternity. Somehow, I managed to wriggle free from my “proper” place. Rather than liberating me, the movement made me extremely uncomfortable with an intense feeling of imprisonment. My movement was disrupting the entirety of civilization and I was experiencing the collective panic!

When I awoke from the daydream, a pervading sense of calm rushed over my entire being, replacing that terrifying reality. My perspective had been altered. Light managed to glimmer through the thick grey clouds.

Life is a gift – it is our opportunity.

My vision reshaped the lens through which I experience life. My confidence boosted. My path clarified. I realize now that I can shape the world because I have one simple power: movement.

The state of our civilization may be in flux but as long as you continue to move forward, you will have the opportunity to face every challenge head on. My struggle is the world’s struggle. As such, I have an obligation to mold its essence.

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single flame – the life of the flame will not be shortened.

I have a responsibility to become the most articulate artist I can become. We all do. I have chosen to pursue this path through the vehicle of theatre. My training, three rigorous hours a day of physical and vocal work outside of rehearsal, has already begun. I am learning who I am, what my capabilities are and how I fit into this world. My work is the work of humanity.

The light continues to grow inside of me. Discipline, passion, confidence and focus are my candles; they allow me to overcome the darkness.

-TJ Jozsa
Artistic Director

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  1. […] band had dispersed to other projects. Just as we feared, we lost momentum. The same darkness that enveloped Kyle engulfed me. Except, in my case, it swallowed me whole. I lost myself to drugs, alcohol and every […]

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